Spiritual Frustration - Part One: Legoland

I understand that there are lots of things about God and his Will and they way he does things that I will never ever get, such as the trinity (It's one God, but in three persons. But they're the same. But they're also different. But they're the same. But different. Get it?) and how to mesh Genesis with evolution and all that. I will never understand those things, and I'm ok with that. I'm a little curious, but whether or not I'm suppossed to read Genesis literally or not doesn't affect my belief God still designed it.

But, I do have a thing a few things that just irk me, and lately they've been doing just that. I feel like I should write about them, so here i go:

The Elect

Jesus uses this phrase to describe followers of him, as do most of the authors of the New Testemant. The implication of this phrase, as well as Paul's writings in Romans and Ephesians, is that God chose me to be a follower of Him before he manufactored the whole world (in whatever way he chose to do so), and that my actions are all designed for the betterment of His kingdom. I am chosen by God! God chose me! That's a pretty sweet thing to think about.

Unless God didn't choose you.

Then you should probably start worrying right about now, because if God's saves those he chooses, and he didn't choose you, you better start putting on some sun tan lotion, because it's about to get toasty.

Does this seem wrong to anyone else?

The Bible tells us that God is a God of love. But that's not love. That tells me that Christ came to Earth and suffered and died for the benefit of a few lucky people. I picture Jesus on the cross - bloody, beaten, and dying - pointing out people in the crowd with his limp finger and saying: "You, you, you, and you. Everyone else can go to Hell." That's not love. I can't reconcile that idea with verses that express the universal love of Christ ("This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth" - 1 Timothy 2:3-4), or anything in the four Gospels.

The more I think about it, the more I see how these conflicting ideas seem to coexist paradoxically in everyday life. When people come to me with bad news or unfortunate circumstances, I tell that God is in control, and that He has a plan for them, and that good things will come out of these bad circumstances, because he will use you for his will. But, at the same time, I walk around with the firm belief that I made the committment to make God my personal savior, I put my trust in him, and I asked him into my heart, etc. These ideas are diametrically oppossed to one another. Either God is in control of my life or I am.

I've read opposing arguments and, to be honest, they all just sound like we're making excuses to not believe what's written down on paper. Some people hold that God controls the small stuff, but the decision in yours, kind of like life is a big Choose Your Own Adventure book where you make the decision and God acts accordingly. In think we see that idea specifically opposed in Scripture, since God himself hardens people's hearts (Exodus, Romans 11). Another view holds that God knew ahead of time who would choose Him, and, since He exists outside of time, He knows all about my salvation. From what I have read, the Greek word specifically means "chosen, and does not imply knowledge, but a choice.

This is a big deal to me. It completely destroys the idea of a loving, caring God. It makes me think of God as a kid with a tub full of Legos, building a space ship. If that spaceship is his wil, his good and perfect will, then the pieces used are God's elect. But what about the other pieces God didn't set aside for his spaceship? They get left in the box, shoved in the closet, and seperated from him forever. That's not love, and God's use of his pieces isn't by His grace. They mean nothing to him; they're just toys at his disposal.

If it were a minor doctrine, I wouldn't care, but this is concerning people's salvation and eternal destination. I don't know how to reconcile an idea that is a)so prevelant in Scripture, and b)Opposses a lot of other ideas that are so prevelant in Scripture. I could question the authority and accuracy of the books, but then that leads me down a slippery slope. If I can't trust the Word of God, what can I trust?

I think I'm going to make it a priority to be a little more well-read on this subject. I feel like this is something I need to understand, though I don't now if I ever really can.

Stay tuned for Spiritual Frustrations - Part Two: Jesus in Peru?